If i wasnt born my mom would have a better life,
if i wasnt born my x-boyfriend wouldnt of felt pain,
if i wasnt born she'd still have friends,
if i wasnt born my friends would have one less fight,
if i wasnt born my family would have one less worry,
if i wasnt born my family would have one less mouth to feed,
if i wasnt born he would have never hated himself,
if i wasnt born he'd still be alive,
if i wasnt born she wouldnt have died,
if i would just die i would feel anymore pain,
if i would just die i would have less loss and more gain,
if i would just die i could start a new life,
if i would just die it would only dirty one knife,
if i would just die somepeople wouldnt miss me,
if i would just die i wouldnt have to worry about anyone,
if i would just die people would get over it,
if i would just die grudges would be over,
if i would just die everything would be fine,
if i would just die i wouldnt have a care in the world,
if i would just die it would be another job and payday for many,
if i would just die it would be more earth to fill,
if i would just die another coffin wouldnt be waisted,
if i were to die id know you'd miss me and thats why i keep living and i will continue living but i cant take these memories anymore. Im a hurtful person i bring pain along with me. i hate myself and what ive become. i hate what i do and hate the lies i tell. i hate that i drink and do other things. i hate that i live like nothing is wrong. i want to die. but because of my friends, family, and Tristan i stay alive. Id miss you too. I wouldnt be able to do that to you.
this is for all the people and things i love and like.
to whom is reading this its what i think everyday in my life.